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Toxic vs. Narcissistic: What’s the Real Difference? 🤔💥

Have you ever found yourself struggling to understand whether someone’s behaviour is toxic or narcissistic? 🧠 Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a leading psychologist, says we’re all talking about narcissism but not really understanding it.


While toxic behaviour is subjective and often based on personal perceptions, narcissism is a much more defined personality style. It’s not just about someone being annoying – it’s a deeper issue that can have far-reaching effects on your emotional well-being. 🌪️


So, what’s the difference? 


Let’s break it down:


1. Traits & Behaviours

A narcissist exhibits traits like grandiosity, entitlement, and lack of empathy. They crave admiration and validation, are pathologically selfish, and believe others either envy them or should admire them. This is the “cake” of narcissism, according to Dr. Ramani, and you can’t call someone a narcissist unless they have all of these traits. 🍰

Toxic people, on the other hand, might just have a couple of these traits, but they don’t exhibit the full range of narcissistic behaviours. They can even show empathy in certain situations!


2. Motivations

Narcissists crave control and power as a way to offset their deep-seated insecurity and shame. 😔 They are driven by an internal storm. Toxic people, however, don’t have this same psychological turmoil. They may still be difficult, but their behaviour isn’t rooted in such deep emotional distress.


3. How They Affect Us

Toxic people might make us feel uncomfortable or unsettled, but narcissists destabilise us. 😖 Narcissistic relationships can make us feel crazy, gaslit, or confused. Toxic people might annoy us, but narcissistic behaviour can leave long-lasting emotional scars.


The Takeaway:

Not every toxic person is a narcissist, but every narcissist is toxic. Toxic behaviour is often rooted in personal quirks and histories, while narcissism is about the accumulation of specific, damaging traits that lead to significant emotional harm.


When it comes to dealing with narcissists, understanding their behaviour is crucial. Recognising the signs can help you protect your own well-being and make healthier choices in your relationships. 💪❤️




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